Four weeks in Semester 2 and it's starting to really sink in. It's not like semester 1 where the subjects are just the things you learnt in highschool on rewind. Or everyday walking to class there's that excitement to learn and meet your friends and laugh along with your lecturer. It's getting real. The subjects are tougher, your friends are busier, I am getting tired, eating has became a second choice, you can't think properly, the rational thinking has become a problem solving.
Maybe I haven't managed myself well enough as I thought I did.
Maybe I am just full of complaints and ungratefulness.
And I don't want to fall back to when I was 16.
I promised myself to become a better person spiritually and emotionally.
I am here to learn so that I can give back to my parents, give an establishment to my family that I am not the black sheep. Being able to pay for things and money will never be a problem because there's a whole lot of other problems that can be the cause of my insanity. I want to be loved and fall in love but not get caught up by lies and fantasies.
I've said this too many times that I'm getting sick of it.
I want to be happy.